Motherhood

* WARNING * this is a bit sappy!

There is only one thing on the earth that I love more than being a mom and that is Brandon.  However, that said we have been so blessed with a very sweet little boy.  He is pretty chill most of the time unless he is tired or hungry.  Lately, he will start to get really fussy when he is tired and we will put him in the crib and he goes right to sleep.

When school was still in Brandon would watch Austin while I was at work.  I would come home to the biggest smiles and a large cuddle from my sweet boy.  Then we would spend the next couple hours together and then it was bedtime.  I missed him so much while I was at school.  In the mornings I would feed him and then put him back down to sleep before I left.  There were a few mornings that he would just want to stay awake and play with me.  Those mornings were the hardest to leave.

Now school is out and I have spent the last two days just loving on my little boy.  We have had a blast playing together.  Today, even though he only slept like 2 hours over three naps, each time I walked in his room to get him there would be a smile and a laugh waiting for me.  Also, he woke up this morning at about 6:15 played until 6:40 then I feed him, then put him back down to see if he would sleep.  He didn't but he just laid in his crib playing and blowing spit bubbles.

Austin is a big cuddler still, which I love.  He will just plaster himself to you when you hold him and he often rests his head on my shoulder.  I love him more than anything and I can't wait to have all summer to spend with him.  He is getting so big, but is still just as sweet as the day he was born.  Looking back I loved him the moment that I saw him, but I never realized just how much it has grown since then.

On my way home from work on Tuesday I was not even a mile from the school when I saw a line of probably 15 police cars on the side of the road by the canal.  I was worried that something terrible had happened and when I got home there was a story on the news about a little 2-year boy that was at the park with his uncle.  The uncle realized the boy was missing and searched everywhere for him.  Then he noticed a hole in the fence that separated the park from the irrigation ditch.  Realizing the boy fell in he called the police.  After about 15 of searching they found him under one of the control wheels.  They did CPR and rushed him to the hospital.  He died the next day after being taken off of life support.  This story just broke by heart.  I can't even imagine what those parents must be feeling.  Their sweet, 2-year old boy is now gone.  I know that this boy was done with his time on earth and that he was perfect.  I also know that he is in heaven, but it still must be painful to go through that even knowing that.

This story made me grateful that the doctor induced me when he did.  Otherwise, who knows what could have happened to my sweet boy.  That cord was wrapped so tightly that he lost a pound in a week.  When they cut it, it just shredded into pieces.  If the doctor had even waited 1 week Austin probably wouldn't have made it, my doctor even told me that.  I am so grateful for each day that we are blessed to be with our sweet boy.  I know that I don't know what is going to happen, how life will go, but I know that each day we have with Austin we are both blessed tremendously.