With Austin now big enough to enjoy holidays, we wanted to do something extra for Easter. At Thanksgiving Point they have an Easter egg hunt. Ok, it is more like an Easter egg dash, but we will get there.
A few days before we dyed the eggs. I was watching a one of Austin's little friends that day, so he got to join in. They each got 4 eggs. Shirts were removed and the dying process began. They had so much fun! I was glad that Brandon was home in time for this. Both boys wanted to make a big mess so it was nice to have extra hands. I put the eggs in whisks to make it easier, and boy did that help!
Now, on Saturday morning, before we headed over to Thanksgiving Point, we decided that we should probably do our own egg hunt. That way he knew what to do when we got there. I filled some plastic eggs with some change that we had in the coin jar, and took them outside to hide. Austin was so excited to find them!
Before we went outside
Once he realized there was stuff inside all he wanted to do was open them
We got ready, and headed over. Now, Brandon came up with this idea which if you know anything about him, he hates crowds. Well, it certainly was crowded. As we got there they were just about to do the egg hunt. We sat in the grass and waited. They literally walked around this large patch of grass and dropped the eggs. The whole outside was fenced off, and Austin was really good and waited until they were told to go.
Now, they told the parents and kids that this was all fun, no shoving and fighting over eggs, and to let the kids put them in their baskets. We were fully intent on him doing it by himself. However, there were some parents that went in and were collecting the eggs without their child even next to them. That was very annoying, because they were taking all the eggs around Austin and not even letting him get any. Rude people!! Oh well, he was happy that he got some.
In the eggs there was little toys, candy, and a few had some prizes to Thanksgiving Point. Austin got one of those papers. We headed over and he got to pick one egg. The prizes could be admission for two to any of their exhibits or a membership. We were hoping for a membership, but he picked one that had admission for two to the Gardens.
Getting into the Easter thing gave free admission to the farm. We headed over there to get a break from the crowds. Austin just loves the farm! Pony ride, tractor ride, and animals - what is not to love!
We headed back over to the Easter egg hunt and did it one more time. Then we waited for another tractor ride and left.
The next morning the Easter Bunny came and gave Austin some bubbles, a magna doddle, and a some candy. Then, we talked about the story of Jesus for like the 100th time so he would know the real reason for Easter.
Now, I am not writing this post for your pity. I am writing it because I feel like I need to share. Last April, almost a year ago today, we lost our first baby. Many of you knew about this. We had just announced it a week before, and then to lose what we want so much was hard.
You might be wondering why I am bring this up. Well, we have lost two more. It is hard to share something that is so very personal and emotional for us. This righteous desire that we have for some reason isn't happening. After three miscarriages, I am very high risk for more. I think that is what has made it even harder.
All three were lost at different times, 14.5 weeks, 6 weeks, and 9.5 weeks. The last one was in January. Brandon and I have been on an emotional roller coaster for a year. My trip to Washington was planned very shortly after the last one. He never told me this, but I think he wanted me to go right away was to get away from all that I was going through, and to be with my mom. I am the type of person that when I am sick or really sad, I just want my mom to hug me. He knows that and sent me to her. I love that man so much more everyday.
I was tested at length for all sorts of things. I don't even know what they all were. They came back and told me to take lots of extra folic acid a day and a baby aspirin. I never asked why. After the second, my wonderful doctor put me on progesterone at the highest level I can take.
For a long time, I didn't talk about it. I was bitter. I was angry. I was also confused. With Austin, we had absolutely no problems conceiving him and there was no complications (other than his birth). Now, this time, I can't seem to stay pregnant.
I was to a point where I hated hearing from friends that they were pregnant. I hated going to baby showers. I didn't even want to hold someone's baby for them, which I have always loved.
Then, General Conference came. I was listening to it Sunday morning when the first talk was from President Uchtdorf. This talk struck me to the core. I was grateful that Austin and Brandon were downstairs watching. I had tears streaming down my face. I felt like I was the only person that was listening to that talk, that it was just for me. Everything he said applied to me at that moment. I was in tremendous grief, and I thought I was fine. However, while listening to the talk I realized how much I had been fooling myself. I felt like my world was falling apart.
After listening to this talk, I reflected again and again on it over the next few days. I had taken notes on it and I just kept adding. After a few days, I made a resolution that I would focus on what I am grateful for and about instead of what I am lacking.
My whole attitude changed. Yes, I still am saddened by the miscarriages, but I am ever more grateful for the sweet, loving boy that we do have. I am even grateful for this trial that we are experiencing together. I am grateful for how strong it has made me, for my sense of compassion for others has increased. I never really understood what those couples that face infertility feel until this year came. I am grateful for my husband, who even though it has been hard on, has stuck with me and still loves me. I am grateful for those pregnancies, even though they didn't last. I am grateful I was able to be their mom for a little bit. I am grateful that I have ultrasound pictures of the first and the last one to hold on to, and look at when I am ready. I am grateful for the gospel in my life, and the knowledge that I have about life after death. I am grateful that this talk was shared when it was.
Life throws us curve balls, some bigger than others. I don't know what the future holds but I do know that everything has a plan, purpose, and reason. We may not understand it yet.
Well, March just flew by! Here are some things that we have been up to.
Brandon really wanted a pie and they were on sale. Therefore, an apple pie was brought home. I had it placed on the counter, as far back as it could go. I came downstairs after getting ready to find this stinker had gotten it and a fork. He had eaten quiet a bit!
It has been fairly warm here, so we decided to go sit outside one day and play. Austin asked me to take his picture. I didn't pose him at all for these.
A few days later we went on a walk to a neighborhood park. Austin just loves going to the park.
Wearing his backpack and being a zombie. Where did this kid come from!?!
One of Austin's friends had a birthday party at Jungle Jim's. It is like an indoor amusement park for little kids. It was crazy! There were so many people there, but Austin had a blast.
It took a long time to convince him to go on the carousel, he said he loved it after!
The first time he didn't know how to make his rocket go up and down, the next time around he was a pro.
This one was like teacups. He didn't want to get off.
We also got slrupees and donuts one day with Dad. First slurpee was a success!
